so says the fly on the wall

February 11, 2008

Weekend Funnies

We had one of those weekends that's hard to blog about, because it was so very busy it kind of made our heads spin.  I thought rather than give you the play-by-play, I'd just share a few things that made me giggle.

First of all, on Friday night we went to a birthday party at Chuck E Cheese, and when the party goers sat down for cake and ice cream, Grayson turned to me with tears welling up in his puppy dog eyes.  I went to him and asked him what was wrong,and he assured me it was nothing.  The next day, he told me that he was upset because his teacher's daughter sat beside him at the table, and he was afraid the kids in his class would think he liked her.  Like, liked her he meant.  Did I mention that she's nine years old?  And no one even noticed who he sat by?

Fast-forward to Saturday night.  We got take out from the Japanese restaurant, and after we sat at the table Grayson remembered he hadn't washed his hands.  He went into the kitchen and we all heard a bang and something falling to the floor.  Grayson walked into the dining room with his hands up and said, "Don't worry, Mom, the beer is OK!"  He knocked an unopened bottle of wine over onto the floor.  Should I be embarassed that he thought I was more worried about the wine than him?

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In telling me about an incident at school on Friday, Grayson said "Miss Pace said if we didn't behave, we were going to see steam come out of her ears!! Do you think it really would have?  Was she telling the truth?  That would have been SO cool to see steam come out of her ears.  Does she have water in her head?"

January 11, 2008

Marriage counseling a`la Grayson

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Me: Ooh, look.  Rob Thomas.  Momma thinks he's cute.

Grayson:  *looking at me in bewilderment*  No, you already have a husband.  You think Daddy's cute. 

Me:  Of course I do.  I love Daddy, but I can still think people are cute.

Grayson:  No.  If you think he's cute, you might decide you want HIM to be your husband, and then Daddy won't have a wife, and me and Grant won't have a mommy.  Humph! *crosses arms and sticks out lip*

I think we may need to explain to our son the meaning of "commitment"!

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Grant:  My hawngry.

Me:  Ok.  FInish your breakfast.

Grant:  My wont... ummm... maybe chockit?  *flashes winning smile*

Me:  You can finish your breakfast.

Grant:  Umm... nope.  How 'bout maybe... canny cames (candy canes)?  *bats eyelashes*

Me:  Breakfast.

Grant:  My know!  My know!  Emmy ems?!  *hands clasped, big grin*

silence

Grant:  *head hung, shoulders drooping*  My eat brektust.

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December 07, 2007

Snippets part 4

Grayson has been on a roll lately.  I can't remember them all, but here are a few things he's cracked me up with:

Grayson to Kayla:  So you're playing hard-to-get-ball, huh?

Grayson to me:  How did you know that was going to happen?  Are you sidekick?

Grayson:  I can't drink milk in that cup.  It's been contavenated by juice!

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This bit took place this morning as I was making my coffee in the kitchen, and Grant was rummaging around in the utensil drawer.

"Hmmm... Lemma see... (picks up a measuring cup) uuuh... nope.  Not dat one...  Hmmm.. How 'booouuuut DIS one! (picks up a whisk)...uuuh, nopers.  I know!  Dis one!  Das it! (holds up a handheld strainer).  Dat de one help do da cookin' breaktist!  Yay! Mah did it!"  Cue dance routine involving shaking hips and stirring with a strainer while singing "Mah diiiid it, Mah diiid it!"

Then there was yesterday as we were all in our rocketship (the couch) blasting through space.  At least Grayson and I were blasting through it.  Grant was eating his way through.

Me: Look guys!  We're passing the moon!  See the craters?

Grant:  MY EAT IT! Nom nom nom.

Me:  Uh oh, Grant ate the moon.  Watch out for those stars!

Grant:  OH, OK!  MY EAT 'EM!  nom nom nom.  DAT GOO-OOO-OOD!

Me:  Okay, Grant, here comes Jupiter.  You can eat that one, it's made of Jello.

Grant:  (can you guess?)  Mmmm,  dat one good too. 

Grayson:  Mom, look!  I saved a baby alien!  It was on Jupiter, and it started floating away when Grant ate it's home.  Look, Grant, see the baby?

Grant: NOM NOM NOM!  Dat baby YUMMMMY!

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With Grant, it's not so much what he says, but how he says it.  I'm never sure if that comes across in these posts, but I hope so.  My boys keep me laughing, and I hope we have shared that with you!

November 13, 2007

Snippets Part 3

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Grant:  My dot poop again.

Mommy: Okay, let's go change it.

Grant:  Is it chockit?

Mommy:  No, it's definitely not chocolate.

Grant:  Is it ernge?

Mommy:  No, not orange either.

Grant: Eeew!  Dat ucky chockit!

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Grayson:  We're out of supposable dixie cups.

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Grayson: (poised to jump on a sheet of bubble wrap) Come out with your hand up! We've got you surrendered!

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Grayson to my mom after a discussion on why we don't watch certain cartoons on tv:  Gaga, do you have anything to drink that's approfriate for a five year old?

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Grant:  Dant can do pokey punkin dance (hokey pokey dance)!

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September 19, 2007

Snippets part 2

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Mom:  Put your bike up, Grayson, it's getting dark out.

Grayson:  Are you kidding mom?  Dark is my middle name. 

Mom:  Grayson Dark Keith, put your bike in the garage!

Grayson: IT WAS JUST AN EXPRESSION!

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Grant:  Mom!  Whe' are oo?

Mom:  In the kitchen getting Bubba a puke pot.

Grant:  My nee' one tew.

Mom:  You need a puke pot?

Grant:  Yeah!  My nee' pook pok.  Tank 'em.

Mom:  You're welcome.

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Grant:  Oooh!  Mommy it a 'pider on my cup!

Mom:  Honey, that's a ladybug.

Grant:  Ladda-bud?  Oh... Oooh!  It a 'pider on my cup!

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This one added later, but too cute to leave off.

Grant:  Oooh!  Wook, Mommy, a wabbit!

Mom:  That's a chipmunk.

Grant:  Oh!  Wook, Mommy, chipmonster!

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September 01, 2007

Snippets

Me:  Grayson, you have to concentrate, son.  We would have finished your math a long time ago, if you would CONCENTRATE!

Grayson:  Look, you're my mom.  I'm your son.  Are you being supportive of me right now?  No.  You're supposed to support me, Mom.  I mean, it's just what families do.

Me: Grayson, it's really hot outside.  What do you think of wearing something other than your long-sleeve UGA jammies over to Poppy's house?

Grayson: Hmm, let me think about it...thinking-thinking-Um-NO. 

Grayson:  Mommy, tomorrow will you teach me how to do that swaying side to side dancing people do when they're in love?  I might need to know when I'm a teenager.  Or if I want to do that with a girlfriend before I'm a teenager.  Like the next time I see one of my girlfriends, we could dance that way.

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