JustJessie

Graysonisms and Grantinese

Grayson:  I can't go to art camp today.  My tummy hurts.  I think it's financial bacteria.

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Grant:  I ate up my lunch.  Can I have berzert now?

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Grant:  Oh no!  I got freeze-bowl (brain-freeze).

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Grant:  We saw Kun-Fu Panna at the Feodore (theodore, er, I mean theatre)!

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Grayson:  If this game is made in China, then they're speaking Spanish.

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Grayson:  Mom, when we get to heaven, will we be able to breathe under water?

Me:  I don't know, son.

Grayson:  Well, I guess I'll give it a try.  I mean, if I'm dead anyway, what's it gonna hurt?

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Me:  Grayson, you better behave.  If you pull one more card, you'll be getting a spanking from your daddy.

{mumble, mumble, mumble coming from the backseat of the car}

Grayson:  It's okay, Mom, I just prayed and asked God to wish me luck.

Summer-time Grantinese

Since school's been out, I have been very lazy about cooking, especially breakfast and especially  since the boys get up at 6:00 on the dot every day.  Grant's favorite cold breakfast food?  "Yucky Charms."

All our time in the sun hasn't given Grant a tan at all, but he has gotten an adorable spray of "fraggles" across his nose.

At random times through the day, he will walk up to me and say, "Oh!  You're very goo-ud at that Mommy.  Goo-ud jawb!"

The second we walk out the door, Grant stops on the doormat and says, "Oh it sure IS hot out here!"  He sounds just like a little grandma.

When he jumps in the pool, he shouts at the top of his voice, "Candy-Baw!" (Cannonball)

And I leave you with one Graysonism as well. When on the attack in the pool, he shouts "Panty-hoe!" instead of Talley-ho!

Beware the Species

According to Grayson, there is every reason to be terrified of mosquitoes (West Nile Virus and malaria not included)...

"Mosquitoes suck your blood, Mom!  So do vampires... They're the SAME SPECIES!"

Grantinese for your morning

Jeff and I got new bedroom furniture last weekend, and apparently it took Grant until this morning to notice our headboard. 

Grant: What dis thing is?

Me, trying to wake up: What thing?

Grant:  What dis thing dat gots a bed on it?

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Grant:  Where Mickey lives?

Me:  Mickey lives at Disney World.  We're going there at Christmastime.

Grant:  Oh!  Yeah!  Yay! Come on, Bubba, we goin' to Dinney Wahrd!

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Grant:  I two years old.  Bubba's free years old.

Me:  No, Bubba's six years old.

Grant:  Oh, I six years old too!  I going to pinabardum (kindergarten) like Bubba.  I Bi-i-i-ig!

Christmas Carol a'la Grayson

"On the first day of Christmas in a tangerine,

A pop tart in a pear tree."

What Could Be Cuter Than a Puppy?

Grant talking about a puppy, that's what!  I wish you guys could have heard him when we went to meet our puppy.  He was shin-deep in furballs and had the hugest smile you've ever seen.  He kept saying, "Oh my doo'ness!  Dey coot!  Dey so coot!"  At one point he had a pup on each hip, one licking each foot, and one more trying to climb up his tummy.  He was in puppy-lovin' heaven.

Later at home, we were all talking about the puppy, and Grant said, "My gone' do 'Catch, Puppy!'  and I frow it an' he catch it, like 'Catch, Puppy!'  Like dat, momma!  An' he catch it!"  He was so excited.  I've caught him and Grayson more than once "practicing" for playing catch.  Grayson will be standing in the den, throwing a toy.  Meanwhile, Grant will be crawling around wearing a dog-ear headband, barking, and fetching the toy in his mouth for his bubba.  These boys of mine, they're something else! 

Grantinese: Monkey & Moo, the Multipurpose Words

I've been putting off another lesson is Grantinese, because I'm afraid you all get tired of the things my kids say.  If this is the case, you may as well stop reading now.  Otherwise, let me introduce you to an all purpose word in the language of Grantinese... Monkey.  How is monkey an all purpose word you ask?  I'll demonstrate.

Monkey Cheese = Mac and Cheese.  "My wont monkey cheese!"

Monkey Wand = Magic Wand  "My do Wiggle Waggle (those are the Wiggles' magic words) wi' my monkey wand."

Monkey Bed = Jumping on the bed (from the song "Ten Little Monkeys")  "My do monkey bed and bonkey head!"

*Added later*  I almost forgot!  Monkey-phone is both a microphone to sing in and a xylophone to play on!!

The next multipurpose word you should know is Moo.  Just about any superhero name can be replaced with Moo in Grantinese.  For example, Spiderman, Superman, and Batman are referred to collectively as MooMans. 

Then there are ghosts.  As we discovered on a hayride recently, ghost in Grantinese is pronounced, "Moo Cow."  Yeah, we're still trying to figure that one out.

A variance of Moo is also used for milk, "Moo-k."  This one is sort of our fault.  He used to say something a little closer to milk, but one day we jokingly referred to it as moo juice, and "Mook" it's been ever since. 

That concludes today's lesson in Grantinese.  Have a Monkey Day!

Friendly neghborhood "Moo-mans"

"Moo-mans" is Grant's favorite superhero right now.  He doesn't know much about him, only that big bubba thinks he's cool.  So now he's obsessed with "Moo-mans" and we had to dig out Grayson's old underoos.  Grayson even let Grant's bear borrow Kasey's spiderman outfit so they could match.

He was so cute walking around in that mask and the big ol' gloves.  He could barely see out of the eye-holes and his whole hand was in the palm of the glove, but he felt SO big wearing them.

Whoa!

Whoa! is Grant's favorite word these days.  It has MANY contexts as I will demonstrate:

1.  Grant walking by and mommy calling his name "Whoa! Mommy!"

2.  Grant coming to the table to eat dinner "Whoa!  Ohm-ohm-ees!"

3. Grant suddenly noticing his blankie on the floor "Whoa!  Beaws!"

Everything is Whoa! and it is so cute!  Everytime he says it I smile.  I can't help but think of some stoner walking around whoa-ing over everything he sees.  Aww, Grant, Mommy's little baby stoner.

Brother trauma

"I almost killed my brother!"

Grayson came tearing around the corner at Nana & Poppy's house today, sobbing, with Nana right behind him carrying Grant who was red in the face, screaming, blood all over his mouth.  My. heart. stopped.  I am an eternal optimist in all things except bloody accidents.  I just knew he had lost all his front teeth.  There were images of cleaning baby dentures every night for the next six years bouncing around in my head, bumping into the images of kids calling him names at school when he showed them that his teeth came out. 

After cleaning much dirt and blood out of his mouth, I was SO relieved to find that the teeth were not loose, nor was there a gaping hole in his top lip, nor half his tongue missing.  Just one very upset, very dirty 20 month old, and an equally upset five year old who thought he almost accidentally committed murder.  Grant barely has a fat lip to show for all the drama, and Grayson only has a bad case of the can't-help-its from crying so hard and being so sleepy.

Aside from that ten minutes, though, we actually had a great day.  Nana & Poppy kept the boys all day while I went to the home improvement store and then painted windows and doors in the kitchen.  They got to play in some big ol' boxes Poppy had rigged up to be a spaceship & they got to play in the dirt, which is always fun for some reason.  (Grant- "Whoa! Dut!" when he saw the flowerpot full of dark mushy stuff just waiting for his little paws to dig in.)

Before they even went this morning, the boys were surfing in our den.  Gray watched some cartoon this morning with people surfing on it & then he spread a blanket on the floor, found a piece of wood, & started surfing ("DUDE!  THIS IS AWESOME!  I DIDN'T KNOW I WOULD BE THIS GOOD!")